Ok, so the story from the beginning starting when I went to the hospital after my water broke. I was on medicaid, because I was pregnant and not married or supported. So, I was assigned a particular doctor, who I never even saw. I believe it was either the night I arrived or the next day, that Dr. Carbiener said that she saw that I had indicated that I had checked a box on the admission papers saying that I would be open to adoption out of desperation as I really just needed some help or support.
Well, Dr Carbiener said that she was the best doctor in the hospital, and was taking on my case because I indicated I was interested in adoption, and because she was Catholic and worked with many catholic families who wanted to adopt, and she wanted me to pick one of her families.
I was quite a bit shocked by this, as it seemed odd and I did feel quite a bit of pressure. Especially after seeing all of her families, and none of them felt right with me. And, I kept saying that I wanted to keep my baby, and raise it myself. I had NEVER thought of doing adoption prior to this.
Another thing to consider, is that I was on a ton of drugs (I have my medical papers from the hospital) that the doctor prescribed for me and I was getting through an IV. In fact, one day I even hallucinated. I didn’t want to mention this to anyone, because the doctor obviously didn’t have my best interests or life as her priority, she just wanted my baby.
Well, then the state came in (so he referred to himself), and that was Michael Shorstein and Kathleen Stevens. Michael Shorstein was a part of Shorstein and Kelly in Jacksonville, and Kathleen was a part of First Coast Counseling (for adoption). Kathleen was also a mom who adopted a child (no conflict of interest there).
At some point, Michael asked me who the father was, and I said I didn’t know for sure. He said that they couldn’t do an adoption unless they knew who the father was. Then I mentioned that I didn’t know because I was confused about the dates, as it seemed to be she was conceived in between two guys that I was dating. (I was attempting to use stalling tactics. I was in the hospital drugged up for cryin out loud!) They would not take no for an answer.
Michael gave me a rough estimate on when she would have been conceived given the information from the ultrasound, and I said sarcastically, “Oh, then it was “such and such”. But, I don’t, and didn’t know for sure, but he either didn’t catch my sarcasm or went ahead anyways. The person stated as the father signed the papers terminating his rights.
Kathleen would tell me about her experience, and said that she and the birthmother of her child had a really good relationship. She talked about how she sent her letters and pictures and so on.
They told me that I didn’t have to pick any of the doctor’s family, that I could pick one of theirs.
Michael also said, that I didn’t have to pick one of their families either, but I could keep my child if
I wanted. And, he did mention that their were resources available for women keeping their children,
but when I asked about this, he didn’t give me a straight answer. They refused to take no for an answer and stayed until I felt like the only thing I could do to make them leave was to sign the relinquishment papers, giving up my rights to my daughter. They said that it was just preliminary, and that I could change my mind at any time, however they lied, as they had post dated the papers and there is no revocation time once the pen leaves the paper in the state of Florida.
They also stated that I would be able to have a relationship with my daughter, and have visits, pictures and updates.
So, then I saw a family that seemed really nice, Dee and Emm. (Just using initials). Michael said that
Florida doesn’t recognize open adoptions, and it seemed weird to me to have an open adoption if it
wasn’t recognized. Also, I hadn’t really even thought about adoption until I had gotten to the hospital, but I simply didn’t know what else to do. Once I realized I didn’t really have any options, I said that I wanted to know Dee and EMe and be a part of their lives. When I talked to Tara from Shorstein’s office, she said it was a closed (just recently) adoption, and to be honest, I didn’t even remember that.
When I met Dee and EMe, they seemed nice enough. They wanted to keep in contact, and promised to send me pictures and letters on an Ongoing basis. Dee even said that she would let me meet Tea when she was older, and I could visit her.
Tea stayed at the hospital longer than I did, but I kept going and visiting her often. Then, one day,
she just wasn’t there anymore. And, Dee and EMe had picked her up. They had told me when I met them, that they would call me and let me know when they were picking her up, so that I could say goodbye, and they did not. This is when I knew I had made a mistake in trusting them.
The hospital told me that there was counseling available, by Vivian. I wanted to tell Vivian that I
had made a mistake, and that I wanted to go about getting her back, because they said I had a certain amount of time to get her back. However, every time I called, she was on vacation. I never received any counseling, and I had no one to go to who I could trust.
I tried calling lawyers to help me, but none would help me at all. I found out later (see category shorstein) that they are all in with the good ole boys in Florida.
Dee and EMe sent me pictures for the first three years and then stopped. I tried calling Shorstein, and asking if there were more pictures or letters, and they kept saying no. Then, it started this thing where every time I called they said a different story. At one point, they said that Dee and EMe only agreed to send pictures for 3 years, another time it was five years.
Well, then Shorstein and First Coast split apart, and Kathleen has been in charge of my case ever since (she is an amom). She went back into my papers in April of 2004 (Tea’s sixth birthday) and told me that Dee and EMe had said they would send me pictures and letters on an on going basis.
(The years between 2001 – 2004 I just kept calling and asking, and finally in 2004, I started crying my eyes out to Kathleen, and she felt sorry for me and so looked).
Then she sent letters to either Dee or EMe’s parents, as they had tried to send a letter to Dee and EMe to say that I would like pictures, etc, and there was no forwarding address from them. So, she did get a response from the parents, and she found them, and they sent me a book with pictures and an update. While it looked really nice, I was a bit suspicious, because she (Dee) continued to not answer any of my questions such as, What level of contact would you feel ok with? I really made an effort to make them feel comfortable, but they never responded.
So, I wrote another letter in December of 2004, trying to keep writing and maintaining contact, but they never responded and then in April of 2005 I was calling Kathleen again. I called her a few times, and finally, she just said, “Heather, they moved again, without a forwarding address.” Then I asked if she could try to contact their parents again like she did last time, and she said, “Well, last year when I contacted them, they were really upset and thought something was wrong. I don’t feel comfortable in helping you any more.” And, they did not assist me any more afterwards. Adoption case closed.
That is my story.
For updates on this story, see category, My story.
The following are the drugs the doctor put me on as I
went into the hospital:
butorphanol (4/7, 4/8),
analgesic painkiller
SE Habit forming, confusion / hallucinations,
nervousness, anxiety, etc.
cefazolin (4/5 – 4/8),
bacterial infection, Keflex ( I am allergic )
celestone (4/5 once at 8pm),
corticosteroid, swelling, relief of allergic
reactions, inflammed redness, severe allergies, asthma
or
arthritis.
cephalexin (4/7 -4/10),
cethalostorin antibiotic
bacterial infection, uti, skin, etc, (KEFLEX) ( I am allergic )
fentanyl (4/8),
narcotic
analgesic, false sense of well being, dizzy, light
headed, drowsy, or fainting
SE, seeing, hearing, feeling things that are not
there, confusion, etc. with other narcotics, may od
oxytocin (4/8),
hormone to stimulate contractions, reduce bleeding,
to start or strengthen labor.
SE: chest pain, dif breathing, confusion, fast or
irregular heartbeat, severe headache
promethazine (4/8 – 4/10),
used to relieve symptoms of allergic reactions. Used
with other meds anaphylaxis, also used to relax and
sedate patients before and after surgery during labor,
and at other times.
SE: dry mouth, drowsiness, listnessness, difficulty
sleep, nightmares, dizzy, ringing in ears, blurred or
double vision, loss of coord, upset stomach, vomit,
nervousness, restlessness, hyperactivity, abnormally
happy mood, stuffy nose, itching.
SSE:
hallucinations, confusion, breathing, fever,
sweeating, decreased alertness, pulse, hallucinations,
confusion, seizures, shaking uncontrllable, chills,
fever, inability to respond to people around me,
yellowing, rash, hives,
swelling
terbutaline (brethine) (4/5)
bronchodilator – asthma ( I don’t have asthma )
